BRAINWASHED BARBIE

OK so I know there is A LOT of buzz around this movie at the moment. Personally I wasn't too sure if I was going to go and see it, however after reading other reviews about how great it was, how its a feminist movie, with a great script containing deep and relevant messages, I thought let's do it! At the end of the day, I grew up with Barbie, she was probably my first real friend.

I USED TO MAKE MY FRIEND COME OVER AND PLAY BARBIES ALL THE TIME

In fact I am pretty sure I had a rule that we couldn't go outside to play until Barbie and Ken got married. Which is really interesting given that I've grown up, not really being big on marriage, but ill save that for another blog (go check that one out lol) Playing with Barbie used to make me happy, I dressed her and brushed her hair (I also cut her hair off believing it would grow back...boy were there tears over that!) I created scenarios for Barbie and her friends, we would go driving in her convertible, go to the beach and go dancing. She was the best! But she was also just a toy...and that's really how she should have stayed. But just like everything else in this world, they have taken Barbie, a simple doll that loves to accessorize and turned her into a dictator.

THIS IS NOT A FEMINIST MOVIE

At least not by my definition. Feminism to me is standing up for equal rights and fairness for all humans. Believing all women are just as important and capable as men and giving all genders equal opportunity. Supporting women and not tearing each other down, but also supporting men too. But that is not the message I got from this movie. This is a movie where Barbies believe they are far superior and more important than Kens (men) This is a man bashing film. Yes, yes as sophisticated as the joke is, I realise that its a play on the fact that Ken wasn't really played with as much as Barbie was. But come on, we were young girls! Boys weren't fun, they didn't have great outfits or cool hair we could do different hairstyles with, what did you expect us to do! Ken, in himself was also kind of an accessory. So I get the comparison, but don't go and make it the basis for an entire film! Even the scenes where Barbie and Ken are in the real world, they paint men as an aggressive, dominant and chauvinistic gender. as I said, this not what feminism is about.

I don't believe that women who spent hundreds of years fighting for equality believed that once we got it, we would use it to be-little the male gender.

WE LIVE IN A WORLD NOW THAT EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE A MESSAGE OR ELSE ITS IRRELEVANT.

They couldn't just leave her be an innocent doll, no, Barbie needs to represent something. She either needs to be a role model and show young girls that they can grow up to be anything they want to be in this world. Or she is, an unrealistic, ill-proportioned female body shamer that represses young women and makes them grow up with low-self esteem. At least that's what this movie is trying to convince you of.

The film felt like one giant message they believed was important and then threw it up all over the audience. It wasn't subtle, it wasn't clever. It was simply brainwashing. Or an attempt at it. However, regardless of how ridiculous it all was, in the end, the message either fell short, or dragged on waaay to long.

The creators were so busy focusing on the 'aesthetics' and 'not so clever' quips that they missed the opportunity to develop real characters that the audience could care about and relate to.

They tried to, by introducing America Ferrera's character Gloria and her rebel daughter Sasha played by Ariana Greenblatt. But even they felt like innocent by-standers that were instructed to inject monologues of wisdom on queue.

The scene where Barbie is sitting at what appears to be a bus stop or park bench with an elderly lady could have been so much stronger and thought provoking but it was nothing. It was completely empty. A scene from what I heard the director fought to keep in the movie.

And yet the scene at the end (SPOILER ALERT!) where Barbie decides to be human, went on waaay to long and did not have the weight and lasting impression that was clearly intended by the director to have on the audience.

The best part of the film was America's monologue. Which has been getting a lot of praise and attention. With good reason, its well written. Even if it was not brilliantly performed but then again that wasn't America's fault. She had barely any relevance in the movie, so how do you expect her to carry an entire 2 hour train wreck over the finish line.

If it weren't for the very talented cast, that literally saved this movie from being a complete disaster, this movie would have been one of the worst films I have ever seen. It has cheapened human kind, people are coming away from this film brainwashed into believing it had something important to say. Which I guess is something, I shouldn't really blame the film for...But for me, I'm embarrassed that this is how they have portrayed women. They either roll around on the ground complaining how pathetic their lives are, or their genius plan is to have men fight each other for power (again I get the comparison intended) it just makes women come across as petty and well, stupid. Which I thought was the complete opposite of what they are trying to say.

I just have to also add, for those of you who think Mattel are brave, and amazing for agreeing to go along with this creation, don't understand the corruption that is the advertising industry. Regardless of how Barbie's are perceived or how clueless the Mattel CEO and board are portrayed, they are going to walk away the real winners. A whole new generation of Barbie lovers will be created out of this plastic dominating supremacy of a film and Mattel will be rollerblading all the way to the bank in their matching neon pink and lime leotards.

I HAVE TO, HOWEVER GIVE CREDIT, WHERE CREDIT IS DUE.

Casting director, well done! Margot Robbie was brilliantly cast as 'Stereotypical Barbie'. She has the ability to go from emotionless and robotic to heartfelt and genuine within a blink. Ryan Gosling, again, brilliant. He really appeared to enjoy this role, putting so much effort and thought into his facial expressions and gestures that stole the scenes he was in. Michael Cera, another stand out, playing the discontinued Alan, probably one of the only characters I found humorous. The set designer, wow! Visually it was a very impressive film. Every detail was thought of, even the water-less showers and picture cut-out filled fridges. All of the outfits, music, dance routines, locations were all very well done. However, not enough to save this film in my eyes.

Lastly, the writer and director, Greta Gerwig, I have to give her props. She took on a project far bigger than probably what she could handle, and she has come out on top. Being the highest grossing sole female director of a motion picture in record time. I believe in just over a week Barbie has now taken home over $1billion in ticket sales. Its madness, honestly its disturbing how many people have gone to see this movie. But good on her, I just hope she goes back to creating more films like Lady Bird and Little Women, and puts Barbie back in her box, for good.